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A Different Sort of Chosen Family
Dec. 2nd, 2013 04:09 pmOddly enough, I was feeling very grateful the week before Thanksgiving, for the many blessings the universe has been sending me, even if none of them is an actual job. Then, on the actual holiday itself, I felt very meh, about as unpresent as I could be.
Thurs morning, Jon, Lucky, and I trooped off to Ct to visit my family. Lucky had never been on commuter rail before, so he kept asking questions about when we'd cross the state line and how it compared to the subway system. Once at my parents' house, he tossed a football with his dad and ran around a bit. Food was better than usual: apparently Stamford Fairway was marketing jelly doughnuts, as well as matzoh ball soup and potato latkes.
My grandparents were more feeble than ever - apparently my grandfather has had to give up driving altogether and my great-aunt's face was black-and-blue bc she faceplanted while walking. eek. I feel somewhat guilty that I didn't spend much time with them over the holiday: some of it was the lack of presence, but some of it is that, well, dementia isn't helping our language barrier.
The weirdest thing about the holiday was that for the first time, there was my family-of-birth and my family-of-choice. The three of us slept in the far part of the house, in what is basically an in-law suite. Once my sister left town, we used her car, so we basically did things we wanted, as a family unit.
Bbro wanted to see a movie, so Thurs afternoon, we all trooped off to the local multiplex. Bbro, one of our cousins, and Lbro's wife took Lucky to see Catching Fire while Jon and I saw Thor. When we got back to the house, we lit candles and played games. Jon and I trounced Bbro at Perquackey (which we've decided needs better rules to make it less about the order of play) and Lucky kinda glanced at his No-Limit Dreidel game.
After a traditional post-Thanksgiving breakfast of pumpkin pie and matzoh ball soup, we met my parents for second breakfast at Panera and shopping at Costco. When I bought Chanukah presents, I didn't realize that getting one for my niece would mean her parents would have to buy my kid one (I buy Appul presents bc she's cute and only a little out of obligation) or that my parents would feel obligated to get him one too. oops. We got some supplies for our apt, like chicken apple sausages and all the cleaning wipes. Lucky discovered my set of Calvin & Hobbes books before bed, so he decided he wanted a volume of 1970s Peanuts.
My cousins conned me into climbing with them, so the five of us went to the nearest gym. Lucky climbed two whole climbs before running around like a maniac. My climbing mad cousin showed us his parkourish dyno skills and Jon and I found a few 5.9s we could tackle. The Rock Club in New Rochelle has the most honest grading I've seen in a gym. We sent Lucky home with them and stopped at the liquor store for other supplies for the house. I'd never been to an Ulta before, but I wanted one of their doorbusters -- until I saw it. We were very late getting back, but still lit candles and had a lovely dinner.
Shortly before the holiday, Jon and I had a conversation about how my father's mental decline has gotten to the point where he's cranky furniture rather than a personality. He was sick all weekend, going to the hospital for antibiotics on Thurs morning. Then Sat morning, he played checkers with Lucky and had the best conversation I've had with him in years, one of the ones I'll remember for years. I guess the antibiotics (and other treatments) are working.
Lbro hosted brunch for a hs friend of his and Lucky got a tour of yet another Stine house. I loved playing with Appul, and not just bc she is more affectionate with me than her grandmother (who babysits her 3x as often). Lucky was getting tetchy, so we headed back to Brooklyn just in time. Sun involved a whirlwind drive into Manhattan to drop off the car and pick up all the things he'd forgotten in Ct. I hadn't thought about how much he'd enjoy playing with my brother's rabbits. When we got back to Brooklyn, we had lunch and Kumon before we sent him off to his mother, not a moment too soon.
Thurs morning, Jon, Lucky, and I trooped off to Ct to visit my family. Lucky had never been on commuter rail before, so he kept asking questions about when we'd cross the state line and how it compared to the subway system. Once at my parents' house, he tossed a football with his dad and ran around a bit. Food was better than usual: apparently Stamford Fairway was marketing jelly doughnuts, as well as matzoh ball soup and potato latkes.
My grandparents were more feeble than ever - apparently my grandfather has had to give up driving altogether and my great-aunt's face was black-and-blue bc she faceplanted while walking. eek. I feel somewhat guilty that I didn't spend much time with them over the holiday: some of it was the lack of presence, but some of it is that, well, dementia isn't helping our language barrier.
The weirdest thing about the holiday was that for the first time, there was my family-of-birth and my family-of-choice. The three of us slept in the far part of the house, in what is basically an in-law suite. Once my sister left town, we used her car, so we basically did things we wanted, as a family unit.
Bbro wanted to see a movie, so Thurs afternoon, we all trooped off to the local multiplex. Bbro, one of our cousins, and Lbro's wife took Lucky to see Catching Fire while Jon and I saw Thor. When we got back to the house, we lit candles and played games. Jon and I trounced Bbro at Perquackey (which we've decided needs better rules to make it less about the order of play) and Lucky kinda glanced at his No-Limit Dreidel game.
After a traditional post-Thanksgiving breakfast of pumpkin pie and matzoh ball soup, we met my parents for second breakfast at Panera and shopping at Costco. When I bought Chanukah presents, I didn't realize that getting one for my niece would mean her parents would have to buy my kid one (I buy Appul presents bc she's cute and only a little out of obligation) or that my parents would feel obligated to get him one too. oops. We got some supplies for our apt, like chicken apple sausages and all the cleaning wipes. Lucky discovered my set of Calvin & Hobbes books before bed, so he decided he wanted a volume of 1970s Peanuts.
My cousins conned me into climbing with them, so the five of us went to the nearest gym. Lucky climbed two whole climbs before running around like a maniac. My climbing mad cousin showed us his parkourish dyno skills and Jon and I found a few 5.9s we could tackle. The Rock Club in New Rochelle has the most honest grading I've seen in a gym. We sent Lucky home with them and stopped at the liquor store for other supplies for the house. I'd never been to an Ulta before, but I wanted one of their doorbusters -- until I saw it. We were very late getting back, but still lit candles and had a lovely dinner.
Shortly before the holiday, Jon and I had a conversation about how my father's mental decline has gotten to the point where he's cranky furniture rather than a personality. He was sick all weekend, going to the hospital for antibiotics on Thurs morning. Then Sat morning, he played checkers with Lucky and had the best conversation I've had with him in years, one of the ones I'll remember for years. I guess the antibiotics (and other treatments) are working.
Lbro hosted brunch for a hs friend of his and Lucky got a tour of yet another Stine house. I loved playing with Appul, and not just bc she is more affectionate with me than her grandmother (who babysits her 3x as often). Lucky was getting tetchy, so we headed back to Brooklyn just in time. Sun involved a whirlwind drive into Manhattan to drop off the car and pick up all the things he'd forgotten in Ct. I hadn't thought about how much he'd enjoy playing with my brother's rabbits. When we got back to Brooklyn, we had lunch and Kumon before we sent him off to his mother, not a moment too soon.